Chapter: 6

HOPE IS A GOOD THING
25th October 2003

You must be wondering why I am so obsessed with hope. I mean it’s perfectly alright if you wish for something but if your wish doesn’t come true, how long can you hold on to it. Isn’t it easier to just let go? I mean all we are doing then is Hoping against hope. You know deep inside your mind that your wish will now never come true but still there is a part inside your heart which tells you that you shouldn’t let go of your desires, wishes, and hopes. I read somewhere that a human can last for thirty days without food, few days without water, few minutes without oxygen but only a few seconds without hope. Then why should I lose hope, why should I lose my purpose, lose the ideals upon which I have based my life, why should I abandon them?

So after the day she was gone I thanked god because it could have been worse; Only because I kept on hoping all these years was I blessed with such a special friend and now even if she is gone, I cannot forget what she taught me, I cannot forget the days she was with me. Imagine if she wouldn’t have even come at all in my life. And more importantly she believes in me, she knows I didn’t do anything wrong, so why should I be sad? Why should I think she is gone for eternity, why my friend then shouldn’t I hope that she will be back one day.

And as I said before hope never dies, she did come back. Things weren’t normal as before but yes they became a lot better. We started mailing to each other; she used to tell me about her whole day, about her studies, her friends. She was supposed to go to a Boarding School and this would be the first time when she would be out of her home. So she definitely was nervous about the kids there, how she would be able to adjust but I always was there to ease her worries. I was also nervous as hell because she is such a sweet, little, innocent girl, and you guys know about Boarding School. The kids there, are really smart and manipulative, it’s definitely tough to survive in there. But in a way, I was also happy for her, because I didn’t want that she should be in her comfort zone always for rest of her life, someday she had to come out of the cocoon. Although you mite feel, I am losing my mind here, as I always was in favor of innocence and protecting the kids in a cocoon so that they are away from this phony world but I have come to realize this important point the hard way and you also have to understand that you won’t be there with your loved ones always, sometimes they will be all alone and then they should be in a position to deal with all this. I am not saying she should become just like them but of course she should be able to handle them without getting hurt.

She used to write weekly from her school and I used to really wait for that mail. I always hoped that everything was fine with her. Oh yeah, I did forget to mention she used to get ill very often. Don’t know why but maybe because she used to take things directly to her heart. She definitely was alone there; I mean it’s pretty hard to find people like you if you happen to be a good person like her. I encouraged her to make new friends there so that she wasn’t all alone. But you could gauge from her letters that she was finding it tough to adjust in new surroundings. I could only pray and motivate her to see silver lining in the dark clouds and keep believing in herself and God. She used to believe in Angels, she told me they are her only hope, and after meeting Anie I too started believing in them and I prayed each night to God and Angels to take care of my friend, my angel.